Treatment Draft 2

Treatment draft 2

FEEDBACK


Criticism
- The flow of the story is repetitive
- We shouldn’t do the same thing over and over again.
- Stay away from repeating what goes on
- Show what the main character has overcome
- We have not properly developed our idea

Improvements/good points
- Story goes on for 2days
- The story flows well
- Talk to the boy who is blind we are making the film about
- Get ideas of not being confident
- When the phone rings, he replies "not coming out"
- When the friend is knocking at his door/frightened to get out of bed/knock at the door and no one comes out
- It seems rushed/jumped at some points
- Show more of a lack of confidence
- Maybe scared to get out of bed?
- We need to set it up properly
- Steer clear of the stereotypical bullying theme
- Put yourself in his position
- Be more creative!!!
-Make it more realistic
- Make the mum be more fussy over the boy
-Make much more of a fuss of the girl he saved